I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
