it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Life is so much better after having sex.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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