I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize