Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
