I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
