don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
