I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
