Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
