I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
