Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
