sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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