Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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