I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
