I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
