Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
