All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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