i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
