Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
