why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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