i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
