yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
