new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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