I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
