Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
