Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't deserve a penis
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize