So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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