i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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