if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
