I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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