i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
