my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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