I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
