the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?