Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.