my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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