Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows

(1-760): View more from California

i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal

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(205): View more from Alabama

im getting a BJ in a closet

(205): View more from Alabama

and a penguin just handed me a bong

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(415): View more from California

I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY

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(716): View more from New York

Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?

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