Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.

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(305): View more from Florida

gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill

(970): View more from Colorado

did you ask her what wine to pair it with?

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(315): View more from New York

a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"

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27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.

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(416): View more from Toronto

You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.

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