bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
