The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
