Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
