so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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