there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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