my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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