I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
