I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize