My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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