so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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