He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
