Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
