if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
