i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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