i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you like me you must not know who I am
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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