just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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