he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
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