Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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