i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
