That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
