I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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