I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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