his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
